my 45th in pictures

i am 45

it came and went without too much hoopla

and I'm okay with that

i slept in for an extra 23 minutes

okay, actually i overslept but I choose to see the glass half full

ahhhh the rush

worked out with this sweet lady

had to get a selfie, of course!

we are beautiful, no make up, sweaty - yes beautiful, you might say glistening :)

this song makes me dance every time

even in the car

ask my girls

i dance

in the car

heck i dance to this entire album

kudos to me for getting my groove on, in the car

this guy loves selfies

not!

{sigh} - that's the sound he makes when I pull out my camera

he loves me

he was excited it was my birthday

my lunch.

turkey, mayo, cucumber, s/p

simple

yummy

afternoon

laundry (not shown, didn't' want to bore you)

dusting (again, boring)

evening

tattooed dog for dinner (not shown, but yum-o!)

new movie theater in town

can you say spoiled?

these reclining seats rocked

never will i want to go back to the old seats

never!

love these two

the movie was Peanuts

loved it

they were true to charles schulz and the characters

my brother was in town

woot woot! Uncle Kendall lounged with us

it was nice

45 is starting off great

don't panic

i saw this, this past monday as i walked into wally
i have to admit it makes me feel anxious
7 saturdays until Christmas, wow!
the list is building in my head...

those marketing people have me figured out :)

rut

(I penned this post in my head a couple of weeks ago, it's a part of documenting life, the good, the bad, the joy, the challenges. So here goes.)

Rut is a negative word.  Especially when it and marriage are in the same sentence.  This is the conclusion that Art and I came to one late, very tiring Saturday evening.  We both agreed we were there.

Before I go on let me say that Art and I are 100% committed to each other and 100% very much still in love.  Our conversation was started in the late hours when we were both frustrated with each other, with our busy lives.  We’ve known for a long time that things weren’t as they should be.  We talked, expressed things we needed to let out even it if meant hurting one another.  It was painful at times but also cleansing and at the end, we prayed together.  We laid there, in each other’s arms, putting our marriage into God’s hands.  We’d become so busy with things, with schedules, with commitments that we’d forgotten each other.

 My focus was the girls and the home.  Everything I did, I did for them and I got into a rut, thinking that was all I needed to do.  I felt alone at times.  I felt unappreciated and in a sense unloved.  We women need to be reminded every day we are cherished by our spouses, we need to hear it, feel it and see it displayed.  I am the type to REALLY NEED it.  When we were courting I had that butterflies in my belly feeling, the kind of feeling that is exciting and makes you swoon and blush at his smile.  I loved that feeling and I missed it.  24 years later, two kids, a dog, a house, commitments, jobs – here we are, that feeling a memory and not a reality with where we are at. 

Art needed me to be more attentive to him.  Sounds simple enough and it is.  We agreed that with both of us learning from this and putting into practice what we had learned we could rekindle a spark of our courting days.

We both saw how easily it is to wrap ourselves around our kids, our jobs, our home and loose sight of our commitment to each other.  We could understand how marriages fall apart easily because people drift apart.  We were scared somewhat of where we were headed but grateful God has brought us to a place of communication.

So now we are committed to some changes.

More date nights.  Not just dinner but new adventures, something fun for us to do together, no kids.

Appreciation.  Expressing it and showing it in little ways.

Affection.  It’s one of my big needs and it takes Art out of his comfort zone because he is Mr. No PDA J. However his love and commitment to me is stronger than his discomfort.   Affection does not have to be physical touch either.  It can be a sweet note, a text, phone call or even a simple gesture.

 

More fun time together as a family.  Yes, including the girls in this will not only strengthen our marriage but our family.  We also realized we have 7 Summer breaks left with Grace (before college), that’s scary.  We need to connect with them. 

Busy-ness.  Something has to give.  We need to let go of some things.  That goes not only for the girls but Art and I.  When Fall comes we will be extra careful to abide by this one and not be swept away.

Pray together.  I have felt closest to Art when we pray together.  It is intimacy in a way we both need. 

Make God the Center of our marriage.  Yes we all know this but how often do we live it.  I don’t know about you but we tend to want the control when God is working.  We need to let him lead in all we do.

We are not perfect and we have proven that.  Marriage is hard work.  It’s ongoing and needs refreshment.  I love my guy and can’t imagine life without him.  I’m glad he’s with me on this journey.

  

what do you do while...

your sister has volleyball camp?

Do a hand stand while making a silly face.

Go window shopping at Home Goods.

{we both agreed this mask was creepy}

Have your Mom take pictures of a blinged out puppy.

and of course, tablet time.

what have I been up to?

I feel like the question should be what haven't I been doing since April 1st!

I've been documenting life via instagram.

I will spare you with the picture details since I will get my April and May layout done someday soon.

Here's the highlights though:

Easter parties at school
Hikes down the ravine (our back yard) to Grace and Sarah's secret spot
Easter egg hunts
Restart - new theme introduced at church
New job - more on that later
New swimsuits from the Easter bunny
Lots of exercise at the gym
Time at our lake getting the boat in the water
Cardinal season beginning
Power green smoothies
Spring break
St. Louis Zoo - penguins and sea lions
Perfecting my egg in a nest breakfast
Lots if rain
Storms - overnight guests in our room
First trip to Sugar Fire BBQ
Trip to gluten free bakery
Starting a garden
Spring blooms
Sarah turns 9!
Barbie makes a visit to yoga with me
New apple cider vinegar drink found
Sarah's school Spring musical
Painting patio furniture
Pool is open!
Pollen
Busy Tuesdays
Yoga
Healthy lunches at Sams (not)
Car full of groceries
Grace and Sarah performing at LHS Music Festival
5th grade D.A.R.E. graduation
Broken glass
Gluten free cupcakes
Birthday sleepover
Birthday girl celebration
Irises blooming
Creating, collaborating on fun ideas at work
Arkansas
Hannah's graduation
Mothers Day
Barbells
Strep
Wafflecakes
Last SCCYO performance by Grace
Amerikids performance at church
Last day of school - here we come 4th and 6th grade
Lazy days outside
Pool time
Sickness, like the yuckies sick
Car shopping
Car trade in
Car purchase
First batch of strawberries
Finding more green smoothie recipes
Cleaning out/organizing spaces at work
Swinging at Sams Club
Beautiful, brilliant blooms
Aly's graduation
Summer Library program
You Rock - Grace Marie is moving up at church
Serious shopping
Fruit yummies
New breakfast omelet
Dead battery
Plants/herbs

and as of today....

Volleyball Camp

And we are current.

Summer is here.  Swimsuits purchased.  Warm temps. Grilling.  Eating fresh from the garden.  Slower schedules.  Sleeping in.  Enjoying life.

march 2015

instagram

I have taken to instagram.
When I started out on it, I would post less frequently.
Until Grace started asking about it.
For a long time we held off, trying to protect her.
Many times we heard her say, "but all my friends have it" (which we knew was not the case).

Christmas 2014 she got her new tablet she had been wanting.
With that and many, many conversations about responsibility and the scary side of instagram, Art and I agreed she could have an account.
It has come with many rules and many nights of me screening her posts and those she is viewing.
Her account is private and she only lets people in who we say are okay.
So far, so good.
Giving a little, even though we weren't 100% comfortable with it, is a good thing.
We've asked her to show us how she can be responsible but yet haven't really given her many chances to prove it.
Here was her chance and happily, she's respected and listened to our requests showing us she is growing up.

We need to give her more of these chances to prove herself.
Like tests and her school work.
We've really tried to teach her how to study this year, on her own.
We've released her these past two quarters to do it on her own with the expectation that if the grades start to slip, we will step back in.
At the beginning of the year she wanted all the benefits of being responsible but wasn't ready to take it on her own.
Now she is.
It shows me her maturity.
It is another step in independence which is bittersweet.

Independence with Instagram and studies - all are ways to help her shape her.
She's learning she is accountable to both and she's following through.
What was so painful last Fall is now much easier for our girl.
Wow.

God is good and his movement in my girl is amazing.

february 2015

Here's my layout for the "Love Month."

So may pictures, I had to narrow them down.

today i put makeup on my daughter

(I didn't think I would do that for at least a couple more years.)

My girl doesn't realize how truly beautiful she is.

This morning after a talk about inner beauty, I put a bit of concealer on my girl.
Growing up is hard.
Change is hard.
Body changes.
Emotions.
Pimples.
Ugghhh...

I remember those days.
I hated my hair.
My skin color.
My birthmark.
I didn't look like the others.
I heard things similar to this, this morning.

I told her I understood her feelings.
I also told her what my mom said,
"You are special,
there's no one like you,
God made you that way,
you are perfect in his sight."
It wasn't received well (eyes rolling).

I get it.
No amount of my talking this morning would help my pre-teen who feels she is judged by her looks, by her peers.
So I hugged on her, told her this was normal, everyone goes through it and I pulled out my concealer.
While I truly believe God loves what he sees, we still need to convince Grace of that.
Until we get there, there's concealer.
She walked out feeling better about her day.

While I will continue to work on this my worry is that anything coming from me will be taken as, "You're my mom, you have to say that."
Again, I've been there, done that.
Felt the same way when my mom would talk to me.
But now, I get it.
It took maturity.
It took getting past the awkward teen years for me to see.
And Grace will get there too.

It amazes me that when a friend of mine gives Grace a compliment, she (Grace) perks up even though I said something similar before.
I'm grateful for said friend and hope she knows that her words mean the world to me and Grace.
I'm grateful for Art who can change the way Grace thinks because she knows, she is his princess and always will be.

I understand my words only go so far, as her mom.
So I press on.
I remind her she is lovely.
I pray for her to see it too.

She is truly beautiful.

_______________________________________________________

Proverbs 31:30

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

1 Peter 3:3-4

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

1 Samuel 16:7

But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

Ecclesiastes 3:11

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

not your normal snow day

Today was a not so normal snow day here.
Not normal in the sense we were already out of school (Presidents Day).
And it was our first "big" snow of the season.
We went to bed last night to flurries and finger crossed for snow to play in.
We woke up to a blanket of white.

So we did what we normally would, we played.

Snowball fight.
Sledding.
Snow angels.
Even threw in a snow cartwheel.
Truman even enjoyed the moment.

We're loving every minute of our first snow.

document day 2/10/15

This is really more for me, a day in my life, at this point I want to document.

It's a doozy.  You have been warned. :)

6:00 a.m. alarm goes off.
Roll over kiss the man.
Talk about our day.
6:15 finally up.
Turn up heat, get the house warming up.
Let Truman out to go potty.
Feed Truman.
Fill up humidifier with water.
Start setting out breakfast plates and glasses.
6:30 Cuddle in bed with Grace.
6:35 Cuddle in bed with Sarah
6:40 Coax girls to get up and help them start to make their beds
Start preparing breakfast for girls.
Drink 8 ounces of water.
6:55 girls are eating, start online devotion for them.
Iron uniforms (because I forgot to last night)
7:00 Turn on flat iron
Put yoga pants in the dryer.
Find workout shirts, jacket and shoes.
Wash face.
Put on makeup, iron hair, ponytail up.
Remind girls we have 30 minutes.
7:20 Put lunches in bags
Start my own breakfast - egg, flat bread, water
Run to and from girls rooms, reminding them of their day and needs for today.
Dig out girls sweatshirts from clean laundry pile.
7:30 Sit down and eat breakfast
Take morning pills.
Drink more water, this time with apple cider vinegar.
Let Truman out to pee again.
Check on girls, last minute reminders given.
Let Truman in.
Pick up kitchen, load dishwasher.
7:45 Flat iron girls hair
Make work out water bottle
Load my things into the car.
Brush teeth.
Ring on.
Earrings on.
Truman to crate.
Shoes on.
7:55 Out the door, in car
8:15 Parked at school
Unload and carry violin and science project upstairs
Give kisses and hugs.
8:25 Head to church.
Clean up Sunday mess and supplies.
Load car with what goes home.
8:55 Head to gym
9:05 Sit in parked car, texting/emailing for personal and church.
9:20 Go into gym to use restroom
9:30 Zumba class with Jonica.
Sweat.
Pain.
Weights.
Fun.
10:30 Walk out sweating, feeling good about my workout
Stop and talk to Brian.
Stop and talk to Jonica outside.
Head home with to do list in my head.
10:50 Home.
Let Truman out.
Snack on oatmeal.
Laundry.
Unload car.
Play with Truman.
Finish January 2015 pages.
Post pages.
Pick up kitchen.
Blog.

12:30 p.m. Shower
12:50 Head out for haircut/color (so ready for this!)
1:15 Stop for lunch, drive through, chicken sandwich, non-sweet ice tea.
1:30 Haircut and color and chat with hairdresser, felt pampered
2:30 Done and paid, walked out more blonde.
Took a selfie for Art and sent him my look.
Headed to girls school to pick up.
3:00 at girls school, chat with other moms waiting
3:20 Headed for Violin practice
3:30 Drop Grace off at violin.
Head to gas station for snack (which I forgot) for girls.
Chips and cheese sticks (healthy stuff) purchased.
Head back to violin to wait for Grace.
Help Sarah with math in the car.
Text some people on follow up things.
Check e-mail.
Download  the Key Ring app.
Check facebook.
4:00 Grace done and headed home
4:15 Home
Let Truman out.
Get mail.
Clean out car (again).
Take trash can down to the curb.
Open mail.
Light candle (ahhhh...)
Fill bird feeder.
Blog again, update.
Check Sarah's math and word study.
Pet/play with Truman.
5:00 Check on Grace and her studies
5:15 Help Sarah with Minion Valentine box and Minion Valentines
6:15 Dinner, left over chili warmed up by Art :), carrots, corn chips and apple slices.
Let Truman out to potty
6:45 Clean up Minion mess
Clean up dinner
Make girls lunch.
Set out chicken for tomorrow nights dinner
Fast direct teachers.
Check grades.
Check Instgram and add Minion pictures.
Blog update.
7:30 Start bedtime routine - get girls moving in that direction
Iron uniforms
Fold laundry
Start dishwasher
Address and stamp Valentine cards to grandparents.
Do the late night pick up around the house.
8:45 Call my Dad.
9:00 Pull sheets out of the dryer and make bed.
Take night time pills.
Wash face, brush teeth, nightly routine.
9:45 Watched House Hunters (Art's co-worker on it)
Let Truman out
10:22  In bed
Devotion
Pinterest
Facebook
Blog
11:00 Goodnight.

january 2015

grace's spring 2010

grace's winter 2010

started off in a decent way

So my "relationships" goal for the new year has started off in a decent way.

There's always room for improvement.

I started off the month reaching out to my extended family and am continuing to do so.
I've found that can be as simple as reaching out via text.
Praying for them.
Sharing prayer requests.

I've improved on my birthday wishes as well.
I have been lousy at this in recent years, forgetting birthdays.

I've committed to being available for my parents more.
To help out my dad.
I've been blessed by the experience.
It's much easier to not be as involved in their lives, it sets me apart from their every day struggles which makes things more real with my Mother's dementia.
It's not right but it was the easier route to go for me.
It's finding joy in this circumstance and being available to help.

I've been working on my relationship with my girls.
Having more one on one time with each.
I had the time this past weekend to look at past pictures.
2009 to be exact.
Grace was 5 then.
It made me want to cry.
She has changed so much and it's not stopping.
Breaks my heart but yet also makes me want to work on our mother/daughter relationship even more.

I was able to spend some time with friends this weekend, scrapbooking.
This is my yearly "happy place," for me to be with two friends I love.
I look forward to it each year.
What a blessing these ladies are to me.
What fun we have, the laughs, the conversations.

So my hope is that I continue to relish in the relationships God  has given me.
And that they are a priority over all the other things going on in our lives.

Right now, today, I have a relationship with this.
I could do without this relationship :), but then Sarah would be naked.

How does one little girl wear this many clothes in two days anyway?

grace's christmas 2009

grace's fall 2009

grace's 6th birthday 2009

grace's new melle festival 2009

grace's fourth of july 2009

grace's summer 2009

sarah's winter 2013

grace's spring 2009

grace's winter 2009

I'm back at it. :)

My happy place.

"relationship" reminder

This sits on my desk at home.

Right there beside my laptop so I can focus on it from time to time.

It's a reminder of my 2015 refreshment.

It's fitting that my refreshment for 2015 is "relationships" and this symbol of my commitment ends up propped up against a picture of Art and I. :)

I can take for granted how great I have it.

I have a husband who loves me.

Is committed to me.

Is a great father.

He provides for his family.

He's been my rock in 2014.

So I did something out of the ordinary for us.

I got a babysitter.

Art and I don't do a monthly "date night" like we know we should and need to.

But I took a step and reached out to a teen in our church.

Our church is hosting an I <3 U Valentine event on the evening of February 13th.

We are going, we are eating, we are enjoying each other and we are dancing.

So I will work on this relationship I hold dear.

I will take my man out of his comfort zone (dancing).

I will laugh with him.

I will enjoy the gift of marriage to this guy.