Sanderson covenant

Our family covenant.  This is kind of an idea I got from the book. The author talked about creating family unity and I had seen this idea before.  It came to be one night for us over dinner.  We talked about what each one meant and we promised to follow through.  I'm putting numerous copies throughout the house :).  We're not perfect at this but it is something visual we have to remind us of our promise.

Show love and respect - self-explanatory

No yelling - we found this was becoming an issue at our house.  The girls would yell up and down the stairs, throughout the house creating a LOUD environment and not peaceful at all.  There are those times during arguments between the girls that yelling will happen.  This rule pertains to both and it goes for the adults in the house as well.  The other night we were trying to get the girls to bed.  They were hyper, chattering, squealing, doing everything but settling down and getting ready for bed.  Art raised his voice to be heard.  He yelled.  He also apologized for it and that was that. 

Be neat - clean up after yourself, take care of your things as well as other family members stuff. 

Be safe - this includes jumping down a flight of stairs, being careless in a parking lot to not hurting your sister during an argument. ;) 

Before this covenant was established we had a "be safe" instance where both sisters were at fault for hurting the other.  There were consequences with their actions -

1) After apologizing to one another and hugging, that night they had to tell their Dad what happened.  This kills them and probably is the worst punishment I can give them.  They squirm with this one (tee hee). 

2) Because they had hurt each other they were going to find a way to make it up to each other. *Grace's way to show love was to make her sisters bed for three mornings in a row, plus her own.  When she agreed to it so quickly and easily we gave her five mornings.  Today is day two and let me say she complained the whole time she did it (tee hee).  *Sarah's way to show love to her sister was to pay her sister three dollars out of her spend bucket that she had just received for her commission.  Grace was to put this money in her "give God fund".  She was not a happy camper loosing her spend money (tee hee). The consequences will change as they do.

Do we enjoy doing this?  A little.  To know the consequence in a way hurts them means we're getting through and hopefully changing the way they think and respond to each other and how they handle conflict in the future. 

Please understand my kids are normal, they argue, they are siblings.  They whine, complain, they are selfish and stubborn.  Every child makes mistakes. 

They are also each others best friend, they enjoy playing together.  They love each other and are connected as sisters should be.

 We're just trying to be responsible parents and find a way to help them through the molehill moments.  Again, there is always room for improvement. 

ways for improving - school morning routine

We created this morning routine middle of the last school year when Sarah really began reading.  It did help to have it all listed and hanging in the kitchen for a quick reminder.  They know the (old) routine which is good and this summer we have called it our summer routine, minus the last two since they don't apply.  On this current list, again we sat down and talked about what we needed to do to make the Sanderson ship run smoothly and with the addition to making their own lunches on their "help around the house list", we added packing it in our backpacks too. 

When the girls (and we know they will) loose their way I will point them back to this list and hopefully (fingers crossed) the mornings will flow easily. 

there's always room for improvment

I recently finished a parenting book (like last night).  It was suggested to me by a friend.  My kids have their good and bad moments each day.  For those bad moments I realized I could use a refresher course and this book was just what I needed.  I needed a good kick in the pants you might say.  At times I found myself saying "OUCH!"  that one hurt because the finger pointed back at Art and I.  While I continue to learn from it and practice its techniques I have taken some of the "easier" suggestions and put them into practice already. 

Chores.  I really don't like this word, it denotes negativity.  While the author calls it just that we choose to label it as our "Help our family around the house list."  All family members are responsible for doing their appointed tasks to help our home run smoothly.  We are a team.  With 3 1/2 weeks left until school and the busyness that comes with that - we needed an updated plan.  I combined this books suggestions with a list of age appropriate chores I found on Pinterest and our current system.  This is one example of what we all sat down, discussed and agreed upon.

Our girls have two lists -

1) What they are expected to do for their age group

2) What they do to receive a commission ($$)

Grace's list: (expected to do at age 8)

Clean room

Make bed

Mama and me journal

Practice Violin

Dirty clothes to the rolling hamper

Put clean clothes away

Feed Truman

Crate Truman each morning

Take her own shower without assistance

Homework

Make school snack

Make lunch

Grace's list: $$

Empty dishwasher

Take out the kitchen trash

Clean out the car

Clean girls bathroom vanity and mirror

The expected list is longer than the commission list but we're okay with that when they are doing it for the good of the family. 

I took these lists and typed them up.  My plan is to laminate them and hang them in their rooms so they can refer to them when needed.  They agreed to these lists and with that they will get paid every Sunday if completed. 

We will have to remind them to do some of these things, that is expected.  But the system we are using is tell them once, turn around and walk away.  If it gets done, GREAT! If it doesn't, without their knowledge assign it to their sister or do the job ourselves and either one of us will reap the reward come pay day.  His advice is to wait until pay day, when they notice they didn't get their normal amount they will question it.  He calls this their learning moment.  You explain that since they didn't choose to do the work, they shouldn't be paid for it.  Also explain when they don't complete their tasks it lets the family unit down and our team doesn't function correctly.  The author said in the beginning some of his techniques would hurt and seem mean but it will teach your children about respect, following through, team work etc... 

This is just one teachable moment from the book, there are many more we have yet to throw out there.  So many I ran out of book marks for the pages I wanted to go back and refer to.  :)  In reading it I've also found techniques that will help me in preschool with my class. 

So we're off and anxious to see improvement in our family unit, one technique at a time.

tired truman

lazy Truman

in his favorite rest spot Truman

using his racoon as a pillow Truman

He'll stay this way...  until I start lunch :).

$3.00

I love it when a $3 purchase can bring such things as sharing, sisterly joy and quiet fun on a hot summer day.

still enjoying

Kids are fickle.  They go from one activity/hobby to another, trying to find that one that clicks.  We've seen Grace come a long way with her violin.  I enjoy her practicing, Art does too.  We can hear the improvement.  She is serious about it still which is great although there have been times this summer getting her to practice has been difficult.  It is her carefree summer and all planning and practice get thrown out the window.  I'm proud of her and her accomplishments with the violin, praying she continues enjoying it and is blessed by her talent.

a week of instagram

{we have sunflowers!}

{school supplies}

{more squash}

{decluttering files}

{new crayons}

{keeping cool}

remember...

my sweet cousin and her precious belly...

No longer, she's here!!!! 

I am beyond excited for these new parents.  Welcome to the world Emma!  You are so loved.  I can't wait to meet you!



what a difference one lesson makes

As parents we try to educate our kids and sometimes that comes with resistance.  It's frustrating for the child as well as the parent.  That's where people like Kelsey come into play. 

With the new pool going in we were apprehensive, worried about safety - especially with Sarah. Try as we did to teach them pool safety, it was frustrating.

Grace has done so well since last summer that it was a natural thing for her when she started working with Kelsey.  Her favorite stroke is freestyle and she does it with ease.  She also likes the back stroke and does it with grace (no pun intended).  She's even shown her old mom a few tricks.

Sarah went from depending on a life jacket to swimming like a fish in ONE lesson.  She is diving for rings, doing hand stands and treading water like a guppy.  Art and I were both amazed at her progress and she was eager to share.

I'm glad Kelsey was here to help.  Way to go chickas! 

a week of instagram

{this is where you will find Truman on a hot day}

{ready for the 4th}

{travelling on the 4th}

{hot road}

{Art in the drivers seat}

{Sarah wondering what I'm doing}

{Amish store trip}

{Love the variety}

{morning cuddle time}

{Saturday morning cartoons}

{more cuddle time}